Let’s be clear right off the bat: I’ve never been a runner.

I played softball and soccer when I was a kid. I never understood how the cross country kids had the endurance. And when I finished college, I started teaching a few group exercise classes at various gyms. So, other than the time we spend hiking, that’s where the last 12 years of exercise has mainly been.

At the gym.

But when I decided to simplify my life this year, teaching group ex was one of those things that I needed to let go of. But letting go of that meant letting go of a free gym membership too.

And so I contemplated running.

I’ve always loathed the idea of running. When I ran before (sporadically), I hated nearly every second of it. In the past, I could do group exercise all day long but my lungs just couldn’t handle running, especially in the cold. I have mild exercise-induced asthma (like use-my-inhaler-once-a-year mild) and running just set it off. Plus…

IT. WAS. JUST. SO. BORING.

Group fitness always seemed so much more exciting. Time flew by. My mind constantly worked in class, calling out one move, then the next. If my mind wandered for a second, my students knew it because I wasn’t cueing what to do next. (Oopsie.)

But I always liked it that way. I’m one of those annoying go-go-go people. I’m always doing something. My mind is nearly always occupied. And teaching or going to a class at the gym passed the time and gave me a good sweat.

Yet times change and without a gym membership, I dared to head outside.

To RUN, by golly.

With nothing but a good iTunes playlist and the thoughts in my head.

And then something strange happened.

I loved it.

I couldn’t get enough.

My lungs? They’re actually holding up better than I thought they would. In less than two weeks, I was running for 30-minutes straight (I can’t say I’m fast… but whatever). I started off trying to alternate running and walking but I found that I just didn’t want to stop running. So I ran.

And that part about running being boring? Well, I changed my mind about that too.

I actually enjoy being inside my own head for half an hour.

Sometimes I think. Not about checking off my to-do list, but rather I think about life, my dad, the things I want to achieve and the things (and people) in my life that I love and am grateful for.

And sometimes I just zone out and think of nothing. I savor the music I listen to. I enjoy how the sole of my shoe pounds the pavement at the perfect beat in a song. Then the music picks up cadence and I dash a little faster. I inhale the rhythm and let it carry me on.

When I run, my mind sweeps out all the clutter of the daily grind. And I’m left with myself, my music and the view around me.

Who would have thought the girl who hated running would now love it so much?

]]> http://www.adventuroo.com/2012/01/from-hate-to-love-a-running-journey-in-the-making/feed/ 20 http://www.adventuroo.com/2012/01/wordless-wednesday-happy-birthday-dad/ http://www.adventuroo.com/2012/01/wordless-wednesday-happy-birthday-dad/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:00:30 +0000 melissa http://www.adventuroo.com/?p=6208

Gerardo Arce: January 25, 1951 – December 11, 2011

I miss you.

All moms have it. The voice that they use when they talk to their kids.

It may not be an all-the-time voice. I for one never had the goo-goo, ga-ga voice when talking to the Roos as babies. In fact, I try to use a normal voice most of the time.

But that “mom voice” still sneaks out of my mouth on a regular basis.

Must be engrained.

And sometimes I get a little mixed up though with my voices. Like when I’m trying to talk to children and adults at the same time.

Like the other day.

As I walked through the hallway at church, I passed by one of the dads I knew from our church group. I had Little Roo in my hands and it was one of those slow-down-to-say-hi-but-not-stop-since-i-was-in-a-hurry interactions. He didn’t ask me a trick question. He didn’t ask me to juggle five guinea pigs while reading the Bible backwards.

He simply said: “Hi! How’re you doing?”

I did some weird two-part answer.

“Hi!” I replied back with a smile. [normal]

Then I turned to Little Roo and answered his question in my mom voice to my son: “I’m doing good.” [not normal]

I think I even bounced Little Roo up and down as I said it. [definitely NOT normal.]

WTF?

I wasn’t even LOOKING at the guy to answer his question.

My brain got all criss-crossed. Worst thing is, I’m sure it won’t be the last time.

Sigh.

Life is serendipitous sometimes.

Last Friday the 13th was the one month anniversary of my father’s funeral.

I was doing some work for a client and was sifting through their “hidden posts” on their Facebook fan page. The hidden posts area is the place where Facebook sends wall messages they think are spam. I got to thinking, hmmm, I should probably check mine too. It’s been a while!

Lo and behold, I found a random act of kindness for someone I’ve never met. It was a poem from Martin at AnitaPoems.com. AnitaPoems was inspired by his wife (Anita, of course!) and he write poems for all sorts of occassions.

The thing about this poem was that it was posted nearly two weeks before I even saw it.

It was about my Dad.

I thought I’d share it with you.

My Father

My head hangs low,
I’m somber and sad.
For the loss of my dear,
and most loving dad.

My thoughts and feelings,
are so hard to explain.
Multiplied by infinity,
my sorrow and pain.

My father worked hard,
was the most wonderful guy.
I cannot come to terms,
to let go and say bye.

Since I was young,
he brought joy to each day.
Loved us unconditionally,
and would openly display.

I’ll miss him so much,
my tears say it all.
As a wake in the night,
his name I shall call.

As my precious father,
and my guiding light.
Having him in my life,
was a fortunate delight.

He lived life,
with honor and grace.
But now he must rest,
in a much better place.

Now, I’m not the first person he’s done this for. I remember tweeting a post Danielle from Extraordinary Mommy wrote a while ago about Martin writing her a poem. Strange enough, at the time, he had written one for me too.

I just didn’t know it yet.

I believe I was meant to find this poem on the one-month anniversary of my dad’s funeral. It warmed my heart up just a bit on a cold, cold day.

Thank you so much, Martin. Your words really mean so much to me.

It’s been nearly a month since my father passed away. And I’m still blown away by all the people who came together when I needed them.

It’s quite striking, really.

I mean, you know you have friends. You know you have family. You know you have blog readers. But when something tragic happens, you truly, truly see.

This post is about being thankful. Being grateful. Being blessed to truly see. See that I have such amazing people in my life, both those I know well and those I hardly know.

I’m thankful for…

My Hubby

Daddy Roo has always been the involved type. We take turns doing dishes at night, putting the kids to bed and so on. While I may give the kids more baths, he cooks more. If I clean more, he irons all his own clothes. We’re a great team running this house.

When I first had to fly to Costa Rica, Daddy Roo didn’t even hesitate to say I should go. He didn’t worry about how he’d meet his crucial deadlines or about missing time off of work. My dad was sick and I needed to be there. End of story.

And six days after I got back, my father passed away. While of course I wanted to go, I worried about the money and had more mommy guilt leaving the kids again (no one but me had a current passport at the time so I had to go solo). When I started in with my self-doubting, worrying self, Daddy Roo looked at me and said, “No. It’s not even a question. You are going.”

And so I went.

Thanks Daddy Roo for being an incredible husband who truly knows the meaning of family.

My Friends

Shuffle here. Shuffle there. Work in between. That’s what you do when you’ve got two kids in preschool. Since I was in Costa Rica a total of 13 days in December, Daddy Roo had the fine task of getting the kids to school, heading to work for a couple of hours, then picking them back up, getting Little Roo down for a nap and trying to sneak in a bit more work.

Luckily, I’ve got awesome friends who pitched in. Friends who picked the kids up some days so Daddy Roo could work longer. Friends who stayed into the afternoon some days too.

One of my friends even drove in from Charlotte (2.5 hours away) to stay for a couple of days. It’s not that my hubby couldn’t have handled it– he’s awesome with the kids– but I know how I’d feel if HE were away for 8 days straight. I’d gladly accept help.

My friends brought meals too. Even our group at church brought us numerous meals and even some holiday treats, which was great since we didn’t have time to do that this year.

And the cards. My goodness, the cards. I was touched by every single card friends sent me, offering condolences for my loss.

Thanks friends for your support and comfort.

My Neighbors

I live in a pretty standard-looking, middle-class suburban neighborhood. But one of girls in my neck of the woods also happens to read my blog (hiya!). And when she saw I was leaving the country for an emergency, she reached out to see if my hubby and kids needed some meals while I was gone.

Having neighbors drop off a couple of meals was immensely helpful. You parents know what it’s like to try and cook with two little kids running around. Daddy Roo was very grateful for the help and it made me feel good too knowing things were just a tad easier on him. The fewer pots and pans to clean after the kids go to sleep, the better!

Thanks neighbors for those warm meals and condolences.

My Family

I’ve got so much family, it’s not even funny. Sisters. A half-brother (who’s only 11). Mom. Step-mom. In-laws. Aunts. Uncles. Nieces. Nephews. And cousins. Oh my, I have lots and lots of cousins.

I have to brag for a second. Few people in this world can get on a plane to another country and not know who was picking them up at the airport or where they were staying. That was me when I went to Costa Rica the first time in December, when Dad was in the hospital. I didn’t know… all I knew was that one of my relatives would be there and that they’d take care of me.

My Costa Rican family is like that. They’ll selflessly feed you, house you, care for you and comfort you. I could never express my gratitude to them.

Of course, I have lots of family here that supported each other during this time. My mom and sisters coordinated the memorial service in the U.S. for my dad. My mother-in-law and aunt helped handle the refreshments for after that service. Lots of hugs, tears, comfort and so on. It was both the physical and emotion support that makes my heart full.

Thanks family for being such an amazing, close family that can come together in a time like this.

My Blog Readers and Online Community

You. Yeah you. Even if you fit into one of these other categories. I am truly humbled by this online community. I always wondered if I would tweet or leave Facebook comments about what was happening. While I wasn’t online much during those few weeks, support from you all poured in.

Tweets, Facebook messages, emails and so on. For someone who’s been in this space for a while, even I was surprised by the outpouring of good thoughts and prayers for me and my dad. When I was visiting him in the hospital, I told him how many people I had never even met were praying – truly praying – for him.

Thanks to you all for your support and concern, even if we may have never met in person.

Thanks.

“And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again”

- The Cave, Mumford & Sons

Few song lyrics have ever spoken to me like those words. But I’ve listened to this song over and over lately as I’ve thought about my life as a whole… and my life this past month. The death of my father punched me in the gut. In fact, it punches me in the gut everyday. I can’t really conceive that he’s no longer on this earth. And each time I try to wrap my head around it, my heart starts pounding and I feel like I’m gonna hyperventilate.

But I still have children to care for, a husband to spend time with and clients to help so I trudge on and try to sort through my emotions in the little moments I’ve had to myself. Don’t worry about me, though. I’m working through it.

But because of all that had happened since Thanksgiving, I pretty much shut down my blogs for a month. And it gave me time to reflect on who I am and how I’m spending my life.

I’ve always been a person of moderation. Of reason. Of work-life balance. But 2011 caught me in a swirl. Aside from this past month, it was a swirl of unemployment, trying to build a consulting career, blogging, caring for two little dudes and on and on it goes. I’m often met with “I don’t know how you do it all.”

Honestly, I didn’t know how I did it all. I just did.

I stayed up late to finish what “needed” to be done. I turned down blog opportunities, thinking I was being wise with my time. I planned our family’s meals 1-2 weeks ahead. I only blogged a few days a week on each blog. I thought I was living life in moderation. In balance.

But truthfully, all I ever did was blog or do consulting work.

Scrapbooking? No. Reading a book? Rarely. Watching TV? Rarely. Working out? Only when I taught aerobics (um, that is to say NOT MUCH).

So while I wasn’t ticked off about my Klout score or blogging seven days a week, I WAS spending too much time online doing things that weren’t productive or leading me towards my goals. It was taking away from other enjoyable parts of my life, even though I thought I was doing things in moderation.

In 2012, I’ll try to find balance. Real-life balance. The balance that means, yes, sometimes I will stay up late to finish a post or polish a client’s proposal. But that also means I’ll be sure to finish some of my much-neglected scrapbooks and other things I’ve been wanting to do.

Working from home and caring for two kiddos is no walk in the park. But I know I can make changes that will have an impact.

Which leads me to my word…

Each year I pick a single word to focus on. To me, it’s easier than remembering a list of resolutions. This word is like my mantra. The decisions I make and the things I do throughout the year should revolve around this one word.

My word for 2012 was so obvious to me:

Ahhhh, just saying the word out loud gives me a boost in motivation.

Because it doesn’t mean I necessarily have to give up things I love. It means I just need to be smarter about how I do things. So, I’m focusing on simplifying my life in three areas:

1. My Blogging Life

I adore blogging. And I don’t wanna stop. But I do want to be smarter about it. So, I’m not committing myself to any certain number of posts a week on Adventuroo. If you haven’t heard, I’m retiring the Capture the Everyday meme too (that was a hard decision but I know it’s for the best).

On Momcomm, I plan to leave Thursdays for guest posts and Mashups and stick with Monday and Wednesday for my content and blog critiques. Also, I’m consolidating two Twitter accounts into one. I plan to delete my @momcommblog account and change my @adventuroo account handle to @mel_culbertson. I admit the Twitter handle name “@adventuroo” is much cooler but I’ve already seen my Twitter time almost cut in half from using just one account this past week. Don’t have to manage two sets of lists, of followers and so on.

I’m sure I’ll do some more simplifying as the year progresses but those are the major things.

2. My Work Life

Honestly, there isn’t much to simplify at the moment other than creating a few templates for some of the repeated things I do (like social media strategy documents). And yes. Email. Need to tame that beast. I’ve already started adding rules to Mac Mail. BOOM.

I think with my work life it’s more about building a nice structure and organization system to what I’m already doing with my clients. Dorky things like sticking to my naming structure so it’s easy to find a client’s files. It’s dorky things like that which save my ass from spending half an hour for a file that was named untitled3.doc.

3. My Personal Life

You know, the one I’ve been neglecting? Well, I want to scrapbook. I want to read, like, actual books. And after spending so much time in Costa Rica this past December with family, I’m more determined than ever to become fluent in Spanish. I understand a good bit but my siblings and I are the only ones – of our 50+ member family – that aren’t fluent. I’ve studied it enough to be fluent (I won’t tell you how many years or I’ll embarrass myself) but seriously, if you don’t speak it, you don’t learn it. There’s only so much you can learn in a textbook. I’m already practicing with a cousin of mine.

I’m also teaching the kids Spanish. After a short whining period (haha), Big Roo is totally digging it now. He and my cousin’s son counted to each other on Skype the other day. Big Roo in Spanish and he in English. Totally cute.

Also, I decided a couple of months ago to give up teaching aerobics… after 11 years. For the amount I was teaching, I couldn’t justify spending about $300 by the time I renew my cert and pay for all my continuing education credits. So, it’ll be the first time in 11 years I’ll have to pay for a gym membership. Which means I’m skipping the gym. Haha. Instead, I’m trying out my nemesis: running. My Nike + GPS app is pretty slick though so let’s see if I stick with it.

So, that’s what’s in my head. Well, now in a blog post too. SIMPLIFY. My blogs. My work. My life.

Of course, there are a gazillion ways to simplify our lives. I plan to start with this and see where it leads me.

I want to live up to those lyrics.

Do you focus on a word for the year, make resolutions or neither?

With the recent traveling I’ve done lately because of my dad, you may have gathered that I’m half Costa Rican. I’ve traveled there many times throughout my life. What you may not know is that I’ve traveled elsewhere a decent bit in my life too. I spent two months in Spain when I was in college. I traveled through parts of Italy and France. I’ve honeymooned in Jamaica. Vacationed in Mexico. And a few other places as well.

I want my kids to grow up knowing that there are other cultures, other foods, other traditions out there. The world is full of differences and I don’t want them to live in an American bubble. With all that’s happened lately, I feel stronger about this than ever. That’s why when I learned about Tea, I was practically giddy. 

Tea is a clothing company that travels the world visiting spots like Japan, Brazil, Catalonia (think Barcelona) and their most recent destination, Mexico. Then they design clothing lines inspired by the colors, art, scenery and all around beauty of the places they visit. Not only that, they write about their travels on their website, post pictures on Flickr and even blog about the inspiration behind their designs (which I know my fellow bloggers will dig). I can appreciate a company that has that much passion about the world around them.

Tea sent me some of their Modern Mexico line so the kids could try them out (and so this mama could see what she thought). The verdict? We are all officially in love with Tea. Even Daddy Roo (which I’ll get to later).

In fact, Big Roo begged to wear this Aztec serpent tee right away (and has proceeded to want to wear it anytime he sees it in his drawer, i.e. anytime it’s not in the laundry pile). It also gives me a chance to tell him about the cool Aztec pyramids (with a little help from Google).

And Little Roo desperately wanted to fit into Big Roo’s Desierto Henley shirt…

But ended up being happy with a shirt of his own.

So, the kids obviously love these clothes.

As for me, I’m totally enamored by the idea that these clothes are globally-inspired in such a fun way. Traveling around the world to design a clothing line is pretty sweet, isn’t it? The clothing lines that Tea designs are pretty magical in how they incorporate aspects of a travel destination with modern-looking clothes, like so:

I should mention that Daddy Roo liked these Fuerte polos so much that he wished they came in his size. He loved the texture of the shirts and thought they were pretty stylin’.

In addition to the awesome shirts, they also have some great pants, both basics and not-so-basics. Big Roo is wearing the Ticking Striped Pant. It’s funny because I typically don’t buy striped pants for the Roos… but you have to admit that he looks pretty slick. The pants are actually pretty awesome.

And Little Roo’s Surplus pants look super cool (though I can’t help looking at his cute footsies too).

If you’re itching to get your hands on some great Tea fashions after seeing the Roo kiddos all dressed up, check out their nice sale at the moment! You can also get 10% off your first order just for signing up for their newsletter.

I’m pretty curious to see how they incorporate their next travel destination into a clothing line so I’ll be watching for updates on their Facebook page. Until I travel again, I think I’ll be living through Tea!

Disclaimer: The lovely folks at Tea sent me these clothes to review.  The opinions (and cute kids) are all my own.

Why, hello again.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my life lately since my father died. I’ve thought about the time I spend on things and where I can cut back. Big things. Little things. All sorts of things in between. I have a full post coming up next week about my One Word for 2012, which will explain my one word a little more.

All that to say, I’ve decided not to continue with the Capture the Everyday weekly meme. I know we have some devoted peeps (and I love you for it!) but in order to focus on some of my goals for next year, I need to limit my weekly commitments.

This blog is always about Capturing the Everyday though! And Adventuroo is going NO WHERE!

I will definitely continue writing posts about motherhood, how to capture everyday moments, the outdoors and all that stuff. I may even do Capture the Everyday link-ups on special occasions.

I hope you’ll continue to hang around because I’m not going anywhere really. Just changing things up a bit!

Thank you all for all the comments, tweets, Facebook messages, phone calls, emails, texts and all else regarding my father. As many of you know, he passed away on December 11, 2011 at the age of 60.

I was blessed to spend eight days in Costa Rica earlier this month while he was in the hospital. He couldn’t speak other than through his eyes, but he knew I was beside him. He cried, he blinked to answer my questions, and he let me take care of him as best I could. I got to talk to him a lot and for that I’ll always be grateful.

Less than 12 hours after I got back from that trip, Daddy Roo’s grandfather died. He was 100 and lived a long, full life. I didn’t go with him to Pennsylvania to attend his funeral. I was actually up in Pennsylvania when Dad first went into the hospital (visiting Daddy Roo’s other grandparents). Literally minutes after they all sang Happy Birthday to me (my b-day was on Thanksgiving this year), I got the call about my Dad.

That we needed to get to Costa Rica. That he might not make it.

As much as I wanted to be with my husband for his grandfather’s funeral, I was terrified to go back. Dad had seemed to be improving some, but in case something happened to Dad, I didn’t want to be eight hours from home again. A day and a half after I returned from Costa Rica, Daddy Roo headed to Pennsylvania to attend the funeral.

My worst fear came true on that Sunday morning. I got the news about Dad’s death on the day that Daddy Roo and his brother were driving back from Pennsylvania. I was alone in the house with the kids when I found out. I was a mess.

Last week, six days after I got back from my first trip, I returned to Costa Rica again to attend my Dad’s funeral. And later today, we will honor him here in the United States with a memorial service.

At the funeral, my uncle read letters from me, my stepmom and my aunts (Dad’s sisters). I was asked to write the letter just hours before the funeral. My hand shook when I took the pen in my hand. I worried about not having the right words. But then I wrote how I write the most pure… when I don’t worry if anyone else will think it’s good enough, profound enough, strong enough. I write from the heart and don’t edit until I’m done.

Here’s the letter I wrote to my father…

Dad,

I have this picture of you where you are laughing so hard while holding Noah and Ethan in your arms. You always hated taking pictures – you never wanted to look at the camera – so to me, this picture is priceless.

Because you’re happy, you’re smiling and you were in the moment. Not noticing the click of the camera, but enjoying life and your grandchildren.

That’s the face I see when I think of you. That face. That laugh.

I miss you so much already but I know you are with God. Noah asked me if heaven is further than Costa Rica. I said it was. But you’re actually closer to us now than ever. Because you are with us all the time. Always.

I love you.

Melissa

If you’ve seen the tweets, you know that my dad is very ill. He moved back to Costa Rica (where he’s from) last fall after living in the U.S. since the 70s.

My family and I were 8 hours from home when we found out (on Thanksgiving/my birthday actually) and so we drove home yesterday. I have spent today making flight arrangements, packing and all that stuff you do when you’re leaving your husband and kids for a week. Tough.

For those of you who saw my tweets, I got a small blessing and found a more recent passport than the first one I found. It’s current so I don’t have to get an emergency passport, but my sisters still do.

Anyway, I fly out of the U.S. on Sunday morning. As you can guess, there will be no posts on here or Momcomm for the week and maybe part of the following week. I’m sure you understand but feel better just writing a quick post to let you know.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.